


You wanna play with magic?

by Elisexyz



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, F/M, POV Emma, S3B Didn't Happen, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-15 17:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17533259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisexyz/pseuds/Elisexyz
Summary: “Come on, Regina, just try it before we wreck our brains looking for something else,” Emma sighs, rubbing her face with one hand. She just wants to go home, take off her shoes and become one with her couch, is that too much to ask? “It’s just a kiss.”“Why don’tyoutry it?!” Regina shoots back, glaring at her like she’s asking her to perform cannibalism or something.“Becausewe barely get along.”Regina scoffs. “And you think that it’s sunshine and rainbows withme?”“He’s always in and out of your house!”[...]“Yeah, it’s calledsex,” Regina emphasizes, looking at her like she’s being dumb. “It’s fun, and he’s good at it, it doesn’t mean that I want tomarrythe moron.”





	You wanna play with magic?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for the "Magical Curse" prompt on [my Bad Things Happen Bingo card on Tumblr](http://heytheredeann.tumblr.com/post/182326982229/magical-curse-fill-for-the-bad-things-happen). AU in which no Henry-Pan switch happened, so everyone returned to Storybrooke safely, both Neal and Rumple lived and no one was sent back to the Enchanted Forest.  
>  Title from [here](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/katyperry/darkhorse.html).

Regina exhales loudly, crossing her arms.

“What were you two even _doing_ in the woods by yourselves?” she asks, her tone half-way between exasperated and accusatory.

Emma sighs, clenching her jaw. “I saw a very suspicious flash of light, I went to check it out, that’s my job,” she says, defensively. “He just followed me, because he’s dumb,” she adds, tilting her chin in the direction of Hook, who’s enjoying his magic-induced, very inconvenient beauty sleep.

Since she was in a rush and she forgot her phone in her car when she bolted towards the woods, she couldn’t even call for help and she had to literally carry him all the way, hoping that the witch that she managed to scare off wouldn’t just reappear out of nowhere.

They still don’t know who she was or where the hell she came from, but one problem at the time.

“Not that I’m very happy to defend him,” David intervenes, shooting her a look of parental reprimand that she’s almost starting to get used to. “But two against a witch is better than one. You should have called someone instead of trying to charge in alone.”

“He wasn’t much help anyway,” Emma counters, shrugging.

“Then I see no reason not to leave him like that,” Regina points out. “He’s almost good company when he’s asleep.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea to me,” Gold intervenes, a slight grin on his face. They fetched him because they needed an expert opinion on what the hell to do, and he and Regina are the only two people who know their way around magic and curses. Emma knew from the beginning that he wouldn’t be eager to help, but Neal asked, so he came.

Doesn’t mean that he’s going to pretend to give a shit about whether they figure something out or not.

“Papa,” Neal reprimands, shooting him a mild glare. Gold simply raises his hands up in defeat, an hint of amusement still hidden behind his expression.

“Come on, Regina, just try it before we wreck our brains looking for something else,” Emma sighs, rubbing her face with one hand. She just wants to go home, take off her shoes and become one with her couch, is that too much to ask? “It’s just a kiss.”

“Why don’t _you_ try it?!” Regina shoots back, glaring at her like she’s asking her to perform cannibalism or something.

“ _Because_ we barely get along.”

Regina scoffs. “And you think that it’s sunshine and rainbows with _me_?”

“He’s always in and out of your house!” Emma protests, her eyes wide in disbelief because _really_? Neither Regina nor Hook have ever been particularly secretive about the fact that if Henry isn’t home he’s going to come over and occupy most of her free time, does Regina think that they are all dumb or have short memory or what?

It’s obvious that they’ve done much more than giving each other a damn peck on the lips, so why doesn’t Regina just try it so they can see if they need to find a more complicated solution than True Love’s Kiss or not?

It might not work, they all know it, it’s a miracle that those two haven’t killed each other yet so it would actually be pretty surprising if they _were_ True Loves, but they aren’t going to waste time looking for counter-spells to something that Emma can’t even describe properly when the solution might take five seconds flat to perform.

“ _Yeah_ , it’s called _sex_ ,” Regina emphasizes, looking at her like she’s being dumb. “It’s fun, and he’s good at it, it doesn’t mean that I want to _marry_ the moron.”

“Regina, nobody is asking you to marry him,” Mary Margaret points out, rolling her eyes. “Just try it, so we can be sure.”

“Why are you all so fixated on _me_?”

“Because you are the only one who voluntarily spends time with him,” Emma replies.

Regina stares at her for a few seconds, then her eyes move towards Neal and she raises her eyebrows pointedly.

He scoffs. “Oh, don’t look at me,” he says, crossing his arms. “I tried already. Uncomfortable as hell, but I survived, so—” He gestures with his head towards Hook, mutely inviting her to just do it already.

Regina glances at Hook, her eyes narrow. She looks horribly pissed off, as if the whole thing were some terrible personal affront.

Emma would just want her to be less of a drama queen about everything for a change. She wants to go _home_ , not to be stuck there trying to convince Regina to kiss an annoying pirate awake – on the off chance that it will work; if it didn’t, then she’d be stuck there anyway trying to find a solution, because it wouldn’t be _decent_ to leave the guy in a magical coma, would it?

“Just _try_ it already,” Emma groans. “What, are you afraid that it will work?”

If looks could kill, she’d be dead on the floor right now.

“I _know_ it won’t,” Regina hisses.

“Then _please_ ,” Emma replies, because she’s definitely too exasperated to be above begging, gesturing frantically with both arms.

Regina glances between her and Hook a few times, then she fixes her with a burning glare. “ _Fine_ ,” she finally says, as venomously as possible. “I’ll try.”

Emma thinks that she can hear angelic choirs somewhere in her head.

As soon as Regina has turned her back to approach Hook, Emma shares a look of triumph that spells out ‘fucking _finally’_ with Neal – who, if she knows him at all, probably wants to be at home on the couch just as much as she does right now.

Regina shakes her head once right before bending over Hook, just in case someone in the room hadn’t yet grasped that she’s doing this begrudgingly and she thinks it’s stupid, then she places a quick kiss on his lips. No matter how quick she tried to make it, it still works instantly, and the familiar rainbow of light magic erupts from them, making Emma sway a little on her feet as it hits her.

Well. Look at that, it actually worked.

Hook, undoubtedly pleased to wake up with Regina still bent over him, only spares a moment to be disoriented, then he just grins from ear to ear.

“Well, hello,” he says, flirtatiously.

Regina, who is as red in the face as Emma has ever seen her, she isn’t sure if out of outrage or embarrassment or both, immediately shoots on her feet, gaping at him and apparently unable to come up with anything to say.

Considering that she just had True Love’s Kiss working for her and _Hook_ , Emma can’t really blame her for the reaction.

A moment later, Regina has simply conjured herself out of the room.

“Alright, what just happened?” Hook asks, confused. He has pushed himself up on his elbows, and he’s frowning at them questioningly. “Because for once, I’m fairly sure I did nothing to piss her off.” He pauses. “Nothing that she could possibly know about, anyway,” he amends then.

Emma’s only thought is: poor, poor Regina. That must be karma: you spend enough time as an evil queen, you’ll get stuck with _Hook_.

No one seems particularly inclined to give an explanation: her parents are busy trying to wrap their head around the unlikely match before them, Gold is more than a little amused by the whole thing, and Neal seems to find it too funny to be of any use.

Which leaves her, obviously.

“Do you remember coming after a witch with me?” Emma asks, because she’s a decent person. She could just turn on her heels and go home now that Hook seems to be as healthy as always, but she’ll take a minute to explain things first. Because that’s what decent people do. Yeah.

God, she really wants to go get some rest.

Hook nods. “Yeah, what happened with that?”

“She cast some spell that knocked you out cold,” Emma explains, quickly. “Regina just woke you up.”

It takes him a few moments to process. “Are you— are you suggesting that she woke me up with True Love’s Kiss?” he asks, an hint of amusement in his voice, as if it was a little ridiculous – it is, actually.

“I’m saying that’s what _happened_.”

Hook blinks at her.

“Congratulations, pal,” Neal gives his very meaningful contribute, grinning a little because apparently he’s having the time of his life.

And yes, it is a little absurd, enough to be almost funny. It’s just that Emma would really like to get this over with, she’s running on caffeine and stubbornness there.

Fortunately, Hook doesn’t need much longer to process: he soon breaks into a grin, apparently welcoming the idea that he and Regina aren’t just having casual sex.

“Should I buy her a ring?” he asks, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. “It seems appropriate.”

Emma rolls her eyes so hard it’s a miracle they don’t get stuck. “Your funeral,” she announces. “I’m going the hell _home_ , my shift was over like two hours ago.”

As soon as she’ll be sprawled out on her couch, she’ll take a minute to write a letter of condolences to Regina.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including: 
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> If you don’t want a reply, for any reason, feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!


End file.
